I got my bachelor of design last week like what posted last week. But I knew, I KNEW FOR REAL that my design, my illustration wasn’t that good, far from what-people-call the best. You can call it ‘weak of essential’. I got heartache when people kept saying that “Your campus has lack design” or “In other institute, your design couldn’t be accepted even just for an alternative” and the one that kept going on my mind strongly is “You guys have no skill, most of you. It was different between the-one-who-can-draw and the-one-who-want-to-can-draw.” I felt like dagger just stabbed on my heart, right in the center of the sad sense.
I don’t blame them who said such things, seriously. Actually I really feel thanks to them who said the honest things straight to me, appreciate that. Just, yeah sad but it was definitely true. Most of us don’t have illustration skill like the famous institute in Bandung. We lack at hand drawing, even if we can, it can’t be compare with them. Sad but true, I personally accept it. Sad but true, it’s bitter words to say, but I (personally) have no nerve to face them. Comparing our artwork, I’m such a loser, definitely.
Even I don’t have such a high skill, I am, with the shameless; dare to dream that high. I am, with the shameless; fall in love in art, design and animation. I am, with the shameless; had declare that I’ll be great a designer. I AM A SHAMELESS PERSON ALIVE! How can I became so rigid and stuck on my stubborn dreams. Going to America, getting my master of visual effect and animation from such a huge art university in San Fransico, become part of Pixar Animation Studio. I feel TRULY ashamed when I remember what I’ve said. Should I just keep that things for myself, shouldn’t I? Maybe some people who know my skill will burst of laugh behind me when I declare my dreams. Maybe they mock me over and over like “how come this talentless person has such dreams? She will definitely live on her dream forever. She will fail right after she start. LOL”
Gosh, despite all of that things. Once again, I regain my pure will. I regain what I stand for ’till today. Even people keep saying such bad things toward my skill, about my collage, about whatever-shitty-things-but-heartily-it’s-true. I was blessed enough to be able to spent my collage life in my university. I’m pretty happy to met those people, my friends, my used-to-friends, my teacher, my professor and everyone I met because I attended THIS university.
Today, June 2nd, 2014. I declare to myself: I don’t care about what they think, I don’t care if they underestimate me. It won’t make me down. I will stand up, I will grow up. I will reach my dreams, one by one, step by step. I will make their eyes wide awake that ME; can be such a good designer, can be one of those who can be proud of, and can be compare with the student of another university ALL around the world (well, I’m nuts!). I believe, my friends, will stand up, they will show the world that WE HAVE SKILLS, even we lack at hand drawing, we can be good with our design in our SPECIAL way.
Good nigh, let’s go to the dreams. Rainbow is about waiting,